Ciò che le donne chiamano "carico mentale" e "lavoro emotivo" è semplicemente ansia auto-creata che si impongono assumendosi sempre più responsabilità senza che nessuno glielo chieda. Poi quella stessa donna si volta e presenta questo stress auto-imposto come una forma di sacrificio, usandolo per far sentire in colpa il proprio partner, come se stesse facendo tutto da sola nella relazione. Gran parte della pressione deriva da compiti impulsivi e non essenziali che in realtà non devono essere svolti immediatamente o affatto. Ma una volta che lo stress supera una soglia personale, viene proiettato sui mariti come se fosse ora loro dovere assorbirlo e risolverlo. Ciò che rende tutto più frustrante è l'incoerenza. Quando non vogliono davvero fare qualcosa, possono dire chiaramente e con forza di no. Ma quando è la loro mente a spingerle a oltrepassare i propri limiti, all'improvviso diventa "carico mentale" e lavoro emotivo che qualcun altro è tenuto a gestire. A quel punto, non è più responsabilità, diventa pressione auto-creata che ora influisce sulla loro salute mentale, e poi il partner viene incolpato per non averla risolta. Gli uomini vengono sostanzialmente incolpati per un problema immaginario.

"Just look at the degree on that chick" ~ No man ever

For everyone to goddamn lazy to just use grok: GATE Was and possibly still is a program ostensibly for gifted students in grade school. Gifted And Talented Education They described it as a program to advance gifted students more quickly through their education, but the experience we remember is of being taken to dark rooms, alone, with the windows shut, and being given "hearing tests" that were actually binaural beats (mind-altering stereo sounds) and being asked to predict what was on cards, like "what picture is on this card I'm holding?" GATE students were overwhelmingly White and male, and according to their own self-descriptions, they have an absurd number of specific things in common, like struggling in work and social life, having Israeli "art student" girlfriends at some point in life, and even having birthmarks in the same spots on their bodies. The list is long. Conspiracy theories have grown around this phenomenon, including the belief that GATE was nothing but a way to test the high-IQ White kids for certain mental abilities so that they could be excluded from any form of power and success throughout their lives. This comes from our common experience of being competent and hard-working, and yet somehow also never being welcome in workplaces where we might have thrived. The "abilities" that they were testing for would include the ones that I use to do my work. You know how I "get" how people think, even people very unlike myself? According to the story, that's what they were trying to prevent from getting any purchase in society. I don't claim to know what the purpose of GATE was, but I do know that when I meet people who were in it, they always "get it." They always "see everything."